cobrasnaps

A lot of things have been changing.

2009-11-04T09:08:25Z

I'm graduating college next semester. I don't know where I'll be going. I've been applying to grad school. UCLA is in, USC and Columbia are next, Boston University is in February, I'm still on the fence with Florida State University and I've been advised to apply to a few more schools. I don't want to go to NYU anymore. I'm looking into Georgetown University and UC Berkeley. I'm wary going to any UC because of their recent funding problems, but we'll see.

On December 1st, when I get the major grad school applications in, I'm applying to a lot of jobs for possible work. I'll be applying to San Francisco/Bay Area, Los Angeles area, Chicago, Boston, Manhattan (I'd live in Jersey) and the DC Metro Area. I've also been advised to look into London, Prague and Germany, but I don't know. I'd like to stay in the country, but again, we'll see.

Next semester classes have been chosen. I'm doing well in my classes this semester, even though I had to drop microeconomics. The other four are doing swell. I don't like my internship anymore but it's shown me that I have an aptitude in marketing/design, public relations and promotion. My classes have also opened my eyes to producing over filmmaking. I haven't felt this inspired in awhile.

Currently I'm writing a new novel for NaNoWriMo, one that has a niche market and will be easy to sell. It's coming out well I think. It's completely out of my comfort zone since I'm talking feminism, gender politics and male privilege, but it's turning out to be a fun challenge and I'm enjoying it. I enjoy that I'm learning who the characters are the more I write the novel. It's a great journey. I'd also like to say that writing this new novel is turning out to be another purging for me, so I hope that proves to make some good writing.

I'm still trying to sell Child in Time. My professor gave me a lot of encouragement into keep trying to sell it. It took him ten years to write the novel he's now getting published from a publisher in San Francisco and he had about twenty-something rejections until he finally got accepted. A good inspiration and I am happy to call him a mentor, especially in my last year. I'm also looking to get a documentary idea off the ground. Now that I have the mountains of research, the next step is to find a crew who would like to dedicate themselves to this idea and to get the assistance/allegiance from the non-profits I need for the documentary. Once that is done, it's onto the funding aspect.

Metallica at MSG in a few days and honestly I'm not excited at all about it. It's probably because I'm so busy thinking about other things in my life that are more important and pertain more to me that I just don't care anymore. Or maybe I'm depressed. Probably both, considering the late hour. In any case, I'd just like to say I really miss Hoan a whole lot and I do hope I get to go home for Thanksgiving. I miss my best friend more than words can say.

As the year comes to a close, I've learned a lot about myself. I've grown up a lot. I've gained a few people, lost others, reevaluated my life and myself and I can say I like where I'm at right now. It's scary, because I don't know where I'll end up or what I'll be doing. I've always been a future-oriented person and I always like to have set plans, set goals, set anything. But life did butt its head in and now I feel absolutely clueless. I have no idea what my dreams are anymore. But I'm learning. I have goals and aspirations and I am making myself a damn good support team so I can be a successful person. I'm learning how to reign myself back and learn to listen. I'm becoming more responsible and owning up to my actions. It's all a learning process. I'm young so I gotta learn.

A great thing I've learned is that in the field I might want to get into (television/film producing), it's all about bringing yourself out there, taking risks and making things happen. If there's anything from my childhood that at least is coming true, it's the fact that I am fulfilling my dream of finishing college in four years (the first of my family to do so), that I'm at least trying to go to grad school after college and that I know what I am good at doing. It's a scary time right now but unlike senior year, I won't let myself freak out no matter how desperately I want to. Throwing myself into the unknown haphazardly and without second thought for my undergrad was possibly the greatest thing I could do to myself, the greatest gift my mom could give me, because I can flat-out say that if my mom had told me "no, you're not going to the east coast, you're staying home and going to a JC and then transferring to Berkeley," I can say with confidence that would've happened. So thanks mom, you did the right thing. Instead of me freaking out like a worry wart ala high school, I'm excited for the unknown. Because I know I can not only handle it, but adapt well and excel in my new foreign surroundings and make it into my home.

In closing, my paid LJ will run out soon and I will not renew it. Time for me to leave and open my own blog with my portfolio and other work on the site. More info coming soon. :)

Charlottesville Magnetic (Picture + Word Intensive, Get a Coke).

2009-10-19T08:34:37Z

What is it with me having shitstorms getting to the venues of shows that end up being possibly the best shows I've ever been to? Newark was like this, Tampa was like this, and now Charlottesville. This truly is the FML tour, LOL.

My friend Matt from the boards was coming down from Jersey to see the show. He hadn't seen them since the Newark shows, so he was long overdue. There was torrents of rain pouring down all across New England so he took an extra hour trying to get to my apartment in DC. Al came over and waited for him with me. We had spent the ENTIRE night working on our posters. We did it double-sided like I did for my Newark shows. One side was for Gojira and the other was for Metallica. Gojira didn't have a whole lot of love this tour, especially this night in Charlottesville, so we wanted to give them some support. His posters I thought were better than mine. This was his for Gojira and Metallica:

The last poster is an inside joke from the Metclub via the Metallitubbies, a video that Adam Dubin from the Year and a Half film made for the guys the night before the RNR HOF. I thought it was well done. I made my Metallica after he left. I spent an hour mulling over ideas that I thought would take too much effort yet were so amazingly brilliant. So I came up with these posters:

Close to 11, Matt texts me saying he's close to my area, only ten minutes away. I am looking at my Metallica poster and I'm like, "Something is totally missing. This is not complete. I NEED PHOTOS." So I scramble through my stash of Lars photos, which by the way was fucking insanity because I have over 10K of them and they are not organized by era/show/year/hairline/expression yet, so it was a bitch and a half. I gave up after three minutes searching and went for what I could remember. Blabbermouth had an interview of Lars up on the website with this great photo from 2006 him in his hat pointing at the camera. So I used that one. And then I used my magazine cut out of him from Q Magazine (I bought two copies haha) where he is reclining in his private jet, haha. This is the updated version:

I thought it was cute and simple yet not very creative. The danish words are: "Hi!" "Dammit/Fuck!" "I love you!" Haha. Only ones I could think of that I DID actually know in Danish! I still thought it wasn't that great but it didn't matter because it was done and Matt was two minutes away from the apartment. Time to go!

Matt pulls up near my hall and Al and I scramble to his car. We listened to Sirius radio along the way and ended up hearing Broken, Beat and Scarred twice haha. Matt and I were mostly awake while Al passed out in the back. The rain was pretty bad as we were driving but it soon disappeared once we were halfway to C-Ville.

On the way to the venue we only stopped twice. Once to get something from Dairy Queen because we were all starving and again to get Al's ticket for the show from someone on Craigslist. It worked out great. There was also a winery/beer shop where we stopped the second time, so Al and Matt went to go get some booze, haha.

Our shitstorm didn't end there. The second we got to the venue, things didn't bode well for us. Everything for parking was pre-paid. The non-prepayers like us had to wait until 5 o'clock until the fucking parking opened. But since we were GA, that was way too late. Instead we took TourCamper (Brad)'s advice and we parked at the Econolodge across the street from the venue. There I met Andrew (Bagman) who sold me my Metclub GA ticket. He parked at the Econolodge too.

We walk to the southeast entrance and there we meet the non-metclubbers and the regular metclubbers. In line I meet this adorable nine-year-old Lars fanatic. He and his grandma came up from Charlotte to see the band and it was his first time seeing Metallica ever. He wanted to get a stick that night and I told him what to do and where to go. As a game I teased him saying, "Alright, let's put you to the test!" I then quizzed him on Metallifacts, Lars facts and then lyrics. He passed of course with flying colors. I was so excited for him and basically hugged him a lot while we were waiting for the doors to open, and he was a typical nine-year-old who was like, "OMG EW GIRLS!!" So cute! It's interesting to note that so far I've been a magnet to kids. First the thirteen-year-old at Tampa, now the nine-year-old in Charlottesville. KIDS LOVE ME THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Unfortunately there were assholes at this show too. Someone in the line made fun of me for wanting to protect a little kid, let alone give him advice about the stage. "He should defend himself or get the hell away from the barricade!," the asshole says, and I'm like, "Are you crazy? He's nine!" I tried to ignore him by hanging out with the grandma and Andrew more, and I could tell by some glares that people didn't like this dude either. While waiting, I also met up with my friend Matt from the Motorhead show a few weeks ago who told me he was coming to this show. He showed up at 10AM waiting forever only to be told he was at the wrong entrance and because people were nice, they let him go up in front with Al and Matt. (From this point on, this Matt will be known as Virgin Matt.)

So to my annoyance, the security outside of the arena was a bunch of idiots. They mixed us together, non-metclub and metclub. Now I'm used to this because really at shows, no one knows what the fuck to do with us GA people because they receive instruction too late. But what scared me is that ten minutes before the doors open, we were still mixed. Usually they separate us in someway before the deadline but not only did they not do that, but they let us in 15 minutes late. I handled the thing well though. I went ahead and pulled out my super-slick-fast-get-the-fuck-out-of-my-way skills of handling crowds and was able to get through the people ahead of me, get my ticket scanned, get to the door and gallop my way down the stairs to the floor right to the left-hand side of the stage.

Usually I go for the right-hand side of where Lars's kit initially starts. This time I went for the left-hand side. Traditionally the left hand side of the stage has crowd surfers, moshers and drunk people who always like to ruin your shit. That's not to say the others sides don't have that, but there's something about the left side of the stage where they just pop out of the woodwork and it's annoying as shit. However Matt convinced me to give it a try. I wanted a change of pace anyway. I had done corner rail next to the door and I loved it. I had done corner rail on the opposite side of the door too. I had done right hand side of the stage in front of a Hetfield mic more than once. It was time for something different.

I held the fort down for a good fifteen minutes by spreading my legs as far as they could go-- almost doing the splits. My thighs were burning like shit but I held it together alright so me, Matt, Al, Andrew and the Virgin Matt could get the rail. I kept this position because I'm mostly all legs rather than arms, so when people came over trying to take the spot I was like, "I AM NOT MOVING, GET BEHIND ME OR BESIDES ME GOT IT?" Eventually Andrew came down and he saw me basically with my legs wide open and was like, "Yo I can help out now," and I was like, THANK YOU JESUS CHRISTO, and I kept closing my legs as Virgin Matt showed up, then eventually Al and Matt. My legs were just killing me by the time 6:30PM rolled around, haha. I also saw the little kid with his grandma get the spot I told them to get: behind Lars's kit right in the middle. I waved to them and they waved back. I hoped they had a good time at the show.

When Al and Matt showed up they recapped to me what happened to them before they showed up at the rail to relieve me. Matt and Al had bought non-metclub GA because tickets to this show for floor were practically sold out in minutes. This is because the venue was hella small and the floor was very compact. Now remember how Metclub and non-Metclub were mixed? Well the non-Metclubbers were pushed to the side and made to wait on the wall while the Metclubbers were able to get up. The security there tried to take the non-Metclubbers to the original spot where Virgin Matt was at-- on the other side of the damn building. Al, in true Masshole form, totally blew up and said, "YOU ARE NOT MAKING US GO OVER THERE, YOU'RE THE ONES WHO SCREWED UP AND DIDN'T KNO WHAT TO DO." So they thankfully let them stay there. Not the end of the story, unfortunately.

Fifteen minutes later, they are able to enter. Just as they are about to get their tickets scanned, a woman security guard looked at Matt's ticket and said, "You don't have a hole in your ticket, you can't go in." Matt has a printed ticketmaster ticket from the web. The security guard hours ago said he could get in easy, no problem. Now this woman was telling him no. He was trying to explain the situation to her without raising his voice until she insisted that she couldn't let him because he didn't have a hole in his ticket. Matt of course blows up saying, "ARE YOU SERIOUS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE WENT THROUGH?!" Matt didn't curse, he works in customer service so he trained himself to stop cursing-- he himself hates it when people curse at him. But the lady didn't care. Her response: "ONE MORE OUTBURST AND YOU'RE GETTING THROWN OUT OF THE BUILDING." But thankfully, the security guard, the same from before, goes up to Matt with a pen and pokes a hole through his ticket. "He can pass," he said, and Matt is like, THANK GOD, and Al and him sprinted down the stairs and find me at the rail.

After that, we calmed the fuck down. Things were finally good. We were on the rail, we had our spots, we made it!! First up was Gojira and me and Al of course went psychotic for the French men of metal. My friend Matt had never seen or heard them before and needless to say, once he saw Oroborous, his eyes popped out of his head and his jaw dropped. He also was in awe of the drummer Mario. Total win. Gojira LOVED us to death and favored us all night. We were the only ones with signs, haha. Joe, the lead singer and guitarist, threw the devil horns at us all night. I also got a Gojira pick finally. I'm sad they are no longer on the tour but now Volbeat takes their spot and I can't wait to see them at Madison Square Garden.

Next up is Lamb of Suck-- erm, Lamb of God. This was their hometown show since they're originally from Richmond, the capital of Virginia which is about an hour outside C-Ville. The crowd was INSANELY loud for them. Out of the entire tour, this is, was and probably will be their strongest crowd for them. Usually I fall asleep on the rail with them, have done so since I first saw them in Fresno where it was also a strong LOG support crowd. I headbang during the first song, then the second song, third song... by the end of the third I'm falling asleep again. Fuck my life. Also some stupid pit broke out behind us like we were expecting. Some idiots were drinking behind us who were just there for LOG and a bit of Metallica, and they were smashing Metallica all night. I was like, siiiigh here we go. But then security showed up and warned them all, "If you mosh one more time, we're kicking you out." So thank god that got stopped. After that, there wasn't any pit-breaking or moshing.

Halfway through LOG's set me, Al and Matt got completely bored on the rail. We tried to stay respectful and alive, and they pretty much downgraded to just respect, lol. Matt was staring into space, my eyes were getting droopy, and Al was serial yawning. It was pretty bad. To boot there was this annoying woman on Al's back who just kept screaming "RANDY! RANDY! LOG!" over and over again and pressed all over him and screamed into his ear and I swear I was gonna punch her. I was also going to punch the asshole that was pushing onto Matt's back with a huge cup of beer in his hand.

Speaking of asshole's, remember the one who shit on me for wanting to protect the nine-year-old? Well the LOG drummer noticed how crazy he was going for them and he threw him a stick. And just as the asshole was gonna get it, Matt leaps his arm out and catches it mid-air before the asshole even touches it. The drummer was so impressed he basically gave Matt a hearty clap. Needless to say, the asshole didn't get a stick after that, haha. The guy looked pissed but there was nothing he could do since he was too far down on the line and there was an obvious crush behind him. That's karma, bitch!

Back to us on the rail. We're falling asleep. It's pretty damn horrible. We're like *yawn* in classic Lars fashion. One of the guitarists, Willie, had noticed Matt's catch and he came over to us during this one song I have no idea about the name. But he was surprised to see that we looked totally bored. My good friend Kady had said that Willie was the absolute coolest of LOG and that night proved it to me. Willie was not deterred by our obvious bordeom. He comes up to us and says, "HEY YOU!" while playing, and we're all like, "Whaaaa." He then mimicks sleep by putting his head on one of his hands and we're like, "... *nod*" Then he hooks a thumb over his shoulder and says, "GO HOME THEN!" We then point to our respective Metallica Metclub shirts and shake our heads no. Willie goes, "Ahhh, respectable, it's cool!" Then, for the rest of the song, Willie doesn't leave. He stays in front of us and coaxes us to at least headbang. An absolutely charming dude! Hilarious too!! Randy the lead singer had passed us and Willie by, and he asked us, "Did you hear that?" and we said, "Nope!" and he said, "Same here!" LOL! What an awesome dude. After the song ended, he was like, "How was that?" Matt shouted, "GOOD, THANKS!" and Willie was like, "Alright!!" For the rest of LOG's set we would always rock out in front of Willie, then settled down whenever anyone else came. I swear, I think if all of LOG had the attitude of Willie and would work Clubbers like us into their music rather than just making half-hearted attempts to getting the crowd into their stuff, then I think I would be more of an LOG fan.

Then it was time for the main event, the reason we drive two and a half hours (five hours for poor Matt): Metallica!! Show starts a few minutes after 9:10PM. I'm so glad I have Metclub friends because we just know ALL the cues and people just follow us, haha. We sung Ecstasy on top of our lungs, clapped along to Life's intro, sung the intro of Life during the lasers... so fucking epic. There was no crush, no moshing, no crowd surfers. It was absolutely brilliant.

Needless to say I fell in LOVE being on the left-hand side of the stage and I think for both MSG shows I will do the same. Vegas I will do the opposite and start behind Lars's kit (a couple clubbers and I want to make a rail-long banner for Metallica to take, since we know the regulars will be on the usual spot where Lars faces initially). San Jose I have no damn clue, haha. But I just LOVED being on the left-hand side of Lars's kit. Right after the lights came on after Life, I held up my sign and sure enough, he found it! Pointed right at me and smiled wide. Then he just looked RIGHT at us, Matt me and Al, during End of the Line and sung with us too. We air-drummed along and I cannot express how amazing it was to share those moments with him. Right after End of the Line was Creeping Death, and nothing gave me such joy but air-drumming that song with my Lars-brother-in-arms Matt and Lars, singing the song on top of our lungs, and then all of us locking eyes with Lars and shouting with him, "MOTHEFUCKER DIE!" So amazing!! Fuel was an amazing song as well. I just LOVE the drums for that song. James gave us a lot of love to our corner too. Kirk did the epic fucking solo for Fuel in front of us, and then James came over and sang the last verse while the epic drums were playing flawlessly in the background. I was just murdered completely after these first four songs.

Because I'm a huge Metallinerd, I had checked the night before for the setlist so I could guesstimate on what songs were gonna be played tonight. When I saw Fade to Black on the list, I was so sad because I was certain they wouldn't play it the next night. So no words can describe how overjoyed all three of us were when we heard that opening note from James who started RIGHT in front of us. Jesus Christ I think I was gonna die. I couldn't believe it. Fade to Black, back-to-back nights?! FUCK YEAH! This version was just so flawless. Kirk nailed the solo, Lars nailed his double bass, James's vocals were amazing, Rob was in front of us for majority of the song. Then during the end of the song, James likes to the sing the rhythm part and get the crowd to sing too. Matt, Al and I knew the cue and we started to sing it before James even came over. When he saw and heard we were singing it, he just broke out into this HUGE smile and came up in front of us and sang with us, smiling the whole time. We locked eyes and yeah, I'll admit it, I cried. Fade to Black is just an amazing, beautiful, uplifting song and it was the part of the song where the solo rises and rises and rises until it reaches that beautiful high note, and I started to cry while looking at James straight into his bright blue eyes. It was breathtaking, euphoric and absolutely 100% cathartic. After all the shit in my life so far, I needed to hear this song so bad. After Fade ended, James said to us "GREAT SINGING!" with that big smile of his and he threw at me a Papa Het pick which I got. I wiped my tears away, calmed myself down and got into the rest of the show.

Prior to Broken Beat and Scarred, Lars fucks with the crowd. He goes over to the regulars in the middle of the rail and hangs out with them, gives them his drink. Then the song starts and we were air-druming like psychos, me, Al and Matt. It's such a great song live. I sometimes fall in and out of love with it, but the second I hear it live, I'm like, "Okay now I remember why I love it," lol! Then here comes another shocker of the night after BBS and before Cyanide. Lars shoots out of his kit, calms down for a bit, drinks his drink, then gets another drink and makes a beeline RIGHT for me. He shouts, "YOU WANT IT? YEAH, YOU WANT IT? HUH?!" and I'm like, "YES YES YES!!" He says, "Alright then!!" throws it and I caught it!! I FINALLY got to drink a Lars drink, lol! I've always wanted to share a drink with Lars and I finally got to!! It was very good too, cherry gatorade diluted by cold water and ice. Just what I needed on the rail because while there was no crush, me and Al and Matt were basically on top of each other going PSYCHOTIC all fucking night long, haha. We worked up quite a sweat!!

Cyanide comes and goes, where the three of us are all calming down a bit but still headbanging and rocking out. Then Sad but True which still kicks ass live. What makes it more fun to listen to is the added addition of me and Matt hopping when Lars hops while drumming the song. It's so much fun. Lars actually saw us do that while he was doing it and he laughed so hard, haha! Up next was One, which is possibly my favorite Metallica song of all time. Usually when I'm rail, I always air-drum the song, Lars always finds me and we always air-drum it together while singing. It means the most to me out of every song that we do it during this one, but I figured since I wasn't in my usual spot we wouldn't be able to do this. I was right about this, he was focusing on someone on the right hand side of the stage, until the part of the song that I love the most. He looked through his high-hat (his kit had rotated to the side by this time) and found me and we sang and air-drummed together up to the Darkness riff. I was so stunned. I was like, "God I love you good sir." LOL Made my fucking night. How little did I know how amazing this night was going to be...

So here comes the Nightmare/Judas Kiss slot. We're thinking, okay Nightmare here it comes, or Judas Kiss, who knows. Then we hear it: the strange intro with the bells and the high notes. And all three of us LOOSE OUR SHIT. "IT'S MY APOCALYPSE!!" we SCREAM on top of our lungs. We couldn't believe it!! While Judas Kiss is pretty cool, all three of us agree that Judas Kiss lacks the epic quality of Nightmare live and the sheer fierceness of My Apocalypse (we determined this through listening and watching live shows). God this was such a highlight of the goddamn show. MY FUCKING APOCALYPSE IS MEANT TO STAY IN THIS SETLIST. It's so NATURALLY meant to be there. They just OWNED this song so hardcore. All three of us headbanged and James was laughing at how hardcore we were into the song. It was great! And Rob loved us too, he was like YEAH YEAH YEAAAH and ugh he whipped his hair around while doing the bass, so great to see up close and personal.

The Day starts after this and thank goodness because we needed the break, lol! My Apocalypse just layeth'd the smackdown on our candy asses, stomped mudholes there too and walked us dry. Happily! The Day was quite beautiful live as usual. Very well played. Then during the epic hang between The Day and Master of Puppets, Lars finds me again while he scans the crowd and points out to me with the drumstick. Another unthinkable thing happens. He KEEPS eye-contact with me as he leans over the cymbal he hits to start Master. His kit had already turned all the way around so his back is to me majority wise, but for the intro of Master with the kick drum and the cymbal, he's looking right at me while we do the intro together. I got chills man, total chills. Another amazing moment. I could've died happy by this point! Master was absolutely amazing as it always is. I lost my shit during it, going into my death metal voice and just another fucking world really. Windmilled/headbanged like crazy. I love singing the middle part of the song. What a fucking rush. Blackened was another amazing song to hear live yet again, totally kicked my ass as well! All three of us air-drummed together and although Lars couldn't see us, James, Kirk and Rob did and they LOL'd and rocked out in front of us! So awesome!

Nothing Else Matters comes after and Kirk starts in front of us. James epically screwed up the lyrics and all three of us cringed at that, but it didn't matter, because an amazing moment was that James came RIGHT in front of us for the NEM solo and came to his knees in front of us too. It was so powerful to have this moment literally a foot away from my face. I was on such cloud nine with this show being so amazing that I even got into Sandman more than I have in the last couple years!! It kicked ass that the crowd was awesome throughout most of the show too, and totally lost it during Sandman. It's typical for a crowd to lose it during Sandman but at this point I didn't care. The show was SO awesome and I had Hetfield on his knees in front of me doing that epic riff hang that he does during Sandman to make it super amazing awesome. I was a happy person in general.

Then, one of the best things ever happened after Sandman ended and the guys walk around saying goodnight and thanks. Lars does his whole thank you stuff to the crowd above and to the crowd below on the floor. He comes to my side of the stage and he points right at me and I can hear him say, "Thank you so much, thank you!" and I say, "No, thank YOU!" and I blow him a few kisses, and he blows kisses back to me!! The awesome doesn't stop there, haha. Because Lars was looking right at me, he bumps right into James! Before he can fall over, James catches him full body and asks if he's okay and Lars is just all smiles. He then points to me and my sign, and then there and then I have a smiling James and Lars looking at me and my sign. The image is just STUCK in my head forever. James asks Lars what the last phrase of my sign says and Lars tells him "jeg elsker dig" means "I love you." James laughs and he points to Lars and I'm like "YES!" and nod my head frantically. They both laugh and James lets Lars go. James then points to himself and I shake my head no, lol! He then pouts and says "BUT IT'S ALWAYS ME!" and I said "NOPE!" and point to Lars who is on the opposite side of the stage now. James then starts pointing between me and Lars frantically saying, "Okay so it's between the two of you then!" and then points to himself and says, "Not for me right?!" and I said, "YEAH BUT I STILL LIKE YOU TOO!" and he laughed and said, "Haha awesome!!"

I'm pretty much on cloud nine here. The encore starts and I'm flipping my shit out about Stone Cold Crazy and Trapped Under Ice. My friend Matt had never heard Trapped before and his reaction was PERFECT. The second James said, "Do you have the album..." we were all expecting him to finish with "Kill Em All" but when he said "Ride the Lightning," we just GASPED, and I turned to Matt and it was just the perfect expression of shock and awe and absolute happiness. His mouth was a perfect O, his eyes HUGE and BIG, and then the riff started, and we FLIPPED OUT. I love hearing this song live, they just own it so hardcore!

Seek then starts later and we were so happy man. We were SO into the song. I ended up catching a beach ball too and I was like, fuck yeah! What made my night was that the little nine-year-old boy I befriended in the metclub line... he got to count in Seek! See the picture here!! Lars found him, pulled him up and brought him on stage! What made me smile was that the little kid found me on stage and pointed the stick at me as a sign of thanks. I just about died. Seek was awesome, I got a beach ball, the whole thing... this is the best show EVER!! Tampa ruled but this one was just like, WOW!

Now let's recap on this night so far for me: I got a Gojira pick, I got Gojira love, I got picked on by Willie of LOG, I got a Papa Het pick from James, I got a drink from Lars, I got a kick ass setlist (Creep, Fuel, Fade, My Apocalypse US debut, Blackened, Stone Cold Crazy, Trapped Under Ice), I had multiple times of Lars and I making eye-contact while singing and air-drumming together, I had Kirk love, Rob love, James love during Fade, James/Lars love specifically at ME and my sign that initially thought was stupid and wouldn't be noticed at all... there is just nothing that can make this even better than what it is. Nothing at all.

It's after Seek. The band starts giving out picks. Lars has come out of his pit area with the sticks. He walks around and gives out sticks to people on the opposite side of where I'm at. Then he goes to the side besides us and gives out sticks there. Then, he comes to my side of the stage. He walks up and down it, shouting at people, getting everyone riled up. He goes back to my area and he walks down again, looking at everyone in the face to find someone. I'm just going crazy cuz hey, it's Lars! I'm getting crushed (finally lol) while people go frantic all around me.

Lars stops and meets my eye. He breaks out into a huge grin. My jaw drops. He points the stick at me and crouches down. "You ready?!" he shouts and I'm like, HOLY SHIT AGAIN?!?! LARS, WHAT??!? But I'm not about to pause, hell no! I reach my hand out and say, "FUCK YEAH!" and I'm a short shit and I try my hardest to reach but it's still so far away. I eventually leap as far as I can and land RIGHT on the rail onto my stomach!! What I didn't know was that some chick who wasn't even there since the beginning and was taller than me put her hand on top of my own. Lars saw this and he actually batted her hand away with the stick!! My friend Matt then took the girl's hand and yanked her the fuck away from me! Matt and Al then both grab my wrist and jerk it up in front of Lars, bringing me practically off the ground and Lars grins wide and for the first time ever... the drumstick lands right into my hands right from Lars. Drumstick #1 was given to me in a bag. Drumstick #2 was thrown to me and I missed (because I was shaking so hard). And now, Drumstick #3 was finally given to me into my hand. I looked up at Lars and I met his eye and shouted, "THANK YOU LARS!" And then, the fucker, he just smiled and winked at me. Lars goes off his merry way to give out more sticks and I'm left shaking at the rail with a black-tapped drumstick and Al and Matt looking at me going like, "You bitch we hate you," LOL!!

The show ends and we finally step away from the rail, shaking from head to toe, covered in sweat. We leave the arena and head to the car. I say goodbye to Virgin Matt, who got a beachball yay!, and Andrew who I could not thank enough for giving me that GA ticket that I so needed. He's such an awesome dude and I'm so glad I am now friends with him. We head on over to IHOP for some eats and time to wind down from the show. It took us three hours to get back to my place in DC thanks to the stupid weather and really dark roads, but we made it back safe and sound. Sirius also hilarious played Trapped Under Ice no more than five minutes after we left IHOP, what awesome luck!! We got back at 4AM, dropped Al off at his apartment, then I let Matt crash on my therapeutic mattress in my living room while I took about three hours to wind down finally, haha. Charlottesville Magnetic was all-in-all an amazing success and I'm glad I got to meet new Clubbers as well as hang out with old ones like Matt, break virgin cherries and have my moments with Lars and the others. Next upon TrinOnTour - The Fuck My Life Leg: MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, NIGHTS 1 AND 2!! Catch ya'll later!

Again, I didn't take photos at the rail, but my friend Al did! Here are the photos taken from the rail. Enjoy everyone!

This is how close we were! That's a Hetfield mic!

And that's where James was!

From left to right: Matt and Al

Me and Matt (I can't ever take a serious photo)

My absolute favorite photo Al took.

And me at IHOP with the third drumstick!

Tampa update while I am still in Tampa.

2009-10-04T13:52:46Z

Bulleted of course.

- I love Kady and John
- Lars and I had another moment during One and yes I got emotional
- I cried during Sanitarium
- I lost my shit during Through the Never
- Hetfield is awesome
- Kirk is rad
- Rob is smexy
- I love Lars
- I love Kady
- I love John
- Cynthia is cool!
- Did I mention I love Lars?
- Bill. Must. Die.
- I love Kady and John

More later after I return home to DC.

Writer's Block: Most memorable concert

2009-09-27T19:10:11Z

What was the most memorable concert you ever attended? What made it so magical?

View 1500 Answers

http://cobrasnaps.livejournal.com/288469.html
http://cobrasnaps.livejournal.com/288988.html

And the concert this Saturday on the 3rd in Tampa.

And now, a meme from Kady (again).

Search through your library of metal music and answer each number with a SONG that has THAT word in it (if possible).

I fail 15 times, lol.

1. Dark/Darkness
"Driving Down the Darkness" - DevilDriver

2. Blood/Bloody
"Tattered Banners and Bloody Flags" - Amon Amarth

3. Death/Dead
"Dead Skin Mask" - Slayer

4. War
"Total War" - Warbringer

5. Bastard
"Repined Bastard Nation" - Satyricon

6. Pain
"Painkiller" - Judas Priest

7. Bitter
Nope, LOL

8. Hate/Hatred
"Aesthetics of Hate" - Machine Head

9. Christ
Nope!

10. Eternal
"Eternal Return" - Therion

11. Zombie
Nada.

12. Forest
Nope.

13. Funeral
"Electric Funeral" - Black Sabbath

14. Fuck
"Fucking Hostile" - Pantera

14. Song
"Dark Song" - Primordial

15. Winter
Nope.

16. Lord
"Phantom Lord" - Metallica (I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK THIS SUCKER UP.)

17. Terror
I so fail as a metalhead.

18. Storm
Nope.

19. Dream
"Foreclosure of a Dream" - Megadeth

20. Rape
"The DRAPEry Falls" - Opeth (SEE I MADE IT WORK HAHA FUCK YOU ALL)

20. Angel
"Angel of Death" - Slayer (monarch to the kingdom of the DEEEEAD)

21. Moon
"Three Moons" - Minsk

22. Glory
Nada.

23. Battle
"The Battle of Evermore" - Led Zeppelin (LZ is debatable. For the sake of this meme, they are metal.)

24. End
"The Beginning and the End" - Isis

25. Ancient
"Rime of the Ancient Mariner" - Iron Maiden

26. Lost
"The Lost Vikings" - Dethklok

27. Victory
I fail again.

28. Fire
"Fight Fire with Fire" - Metallica

29. Wind
"Living in a Whirlwind" - Warbringer

30. Soul
"Tornado of Souls" - Megadeth

31. World
"Brave New World" - Iron Maiden

32. Cross
"Crossing Over" - Five Finger Death Punch

33. Kill
"Live for the Kill" - Amon Amarth

34. Frozen
I fail once more.

35. Time
"Child in Time" - Deep Purple (IT'S METAL FUCK YOU)

36. Cold
"Stone Cold Crazy (cover)" - Metallica (They made it metal. Again, fuck you.)

37. Journey
THE BAND? No, fail.

38. Star
"Locust Star" - Neurosis

39. Eternity
Fail fail fail.

40. Night
"All Nightmare Long" - Metallica (YEAHHH)

41. Sorrow
"Harvester of Sorrow" - Metallica (Duh.)

41. Heart
"Hearts Alive" - Mastodon

42. Gates
"Cemetery Gates" - Pantera

43. Raven
"With Ravenous Hunger" - Satyricon

44. Wolf/Wolves
"Wolves" - Machine Head (Thanks Robb Flynn.)

45. Hell
"Into The Lungs of Hell" - Megadeth

46. Fall
"All Falls Down" - Machine Head

47. Sky/Skies
"Crack the Skye" - Mastodon

48. Cry
"Cry of the Black Birds" - Amon Amarth

49. North/Northern
"Under the Northern Star" - Amon Amarth

50. Rise
"Rise" - Pantera

51. Shadow
"Shadow from the Tomb" - Warbringer

52. Call
"The Call of Ktulu" - Metallica

53. Satan
"When You Were Shouting At The Devil... We Were In League With Satan" - Zimmers Hole

54. Sun
"Still Day Beneath The Sun" - Opeth

55. Fear
"Fear of the Dark" - Iron Maiden

56. Pagan or Heathen
"Heathen Tribes" - Primordial

57. Hammer
"Triple Corpse Hammerblow" - Children of Bodom

58. Flesh
"Razor Flesh Devoured" - Goatwhore

59. Grave
FAIL. Once again.

60. Damned/Damnation
"Children of the Damned" - Iron Maiden

61. Plague
I FAIL.

62. Odin
"With Odin On Our Side" - Amon Amarth

63. Forlorn
Nope.

64. Suffer/Suffering
"Suffering the Tyrants" - Satyricon

65. Devil
"Shout At The Devil" - Motley Crue (They're as metal as hair metal can get, come on.)

66. Empty
Nope, again.

67. Die
"Go Forth And Die" - Dethklok

68. Hour
"In My Darkest Hour" - Megadeth

69. Black
"Fade to Black" - Metallica

Meme from Kady.

2009-09-24T14:30:30Z

Why are you taking yet another shuffle quiz?
Song: Melee
Artist: Russian Circles
Comment: Because I love this song and I want everyone to fall in love with Russian Circles?

What's currently in your fridge?
Song: Metti una Sera a Cena
Artist: Ennio Morricone
Comment: I have no idea what that means in Italian but it's a pretty song.

Your biggest nightmare?
Song: Acid Bubble
Artist: Alice in Chains
Comment: Metal. (ALSO I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG.)

What place would you like to visit?
Song: Ramble On
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Comment: YEAH LOTR.

A reason to commit suicide?
Song: Sober
Artist: Tool
Comment: *snickers*

Why are we here?
Song: Born of Fire
Artist: Slayer
Comment: Sure. LOL

Something you never dared to say to anyone...?
Song: Hooker with a Penis
Artist: Tool
Comment: ROFL!

One thing the world really doesn't need?
Song: My Apocalypse
Artist: Metallica
Comment: LOLLLLL.

What's your biggest unfulfilled wish?
Song: Left Unfinished
Artist: Machine Head
Comment: Nice one Flynn.

If you could invent something, what would it be?
Song: Planet Caravan
Artist: Black Sabbath
Comment: HOW BADASS WOULD THAT BE.

The last thing you say before you die?
Song: Blood and Thunder
Artist: Mastodon
Comment: ............ god I love my iTunes.

What's your destiny?
Song: The Drapery Falls
Artist: Opeth
Comment: How... strange yet pretty.

What do you do when you're alone in an elevator?
Song: Rocking Chairs and Shotguns
Artist: Mouth of the Architect
Comment: Damn. LOL.

Why do people go fishing?
Song: 2 Minutes to Midnight
Artist: Iron Maiden
Comment: So yeah, that's why people go finishing. They do it two minutes to midnight. LOL.

What would you do with your slaves?
Song: Chaiyya Chaiyya
Artist: A.R Rahman
Comment: ... so basically we do the dance from the movie Dil Se on a moving train with a hot Bengali chick and a guy trying to be an Indian Michael Jackson. ... I can deal with that.

Is there a man on the moon?
Song: I, Manface
Artist: Man Man
Comment: Goddamn this shuffle rules.

What does hell look like?
Song: Sweating Bullets
Artist: Megadeth
Comment: Of course Satan is Dave Mustaine. The red hair gave it away pssh.

About what would you like to write a book?
Song: Killer Queen
Artist: Queen
Comment: That'd be such a badass book.

The best thing ever is...?
Song: Epic
Artist: Faith No More
Comment: This is strangely apropos.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Song: Where The Streets Have No Name
Artist: U2
Comment: LOL WOW ITUNES.

Why do you listen to music?
Song: Barari
Artist: Fabrizio Paterlini
Comment: See, the word makes no sense, which is why music rules. I don't care about your damn names, it's my fucking music that's awesome!

What do you do when you're alone and nobody's watching?
Song: Alive
Artist: Pearl Jam
Comment: lol uh okay.

Why are other people so stupid?
Song: There Is No Mathematics to Love and Loss
Artist: Anberlin
Comment: ... is anyone else weirded out by now how this is all working out strangely well??

Last thing you ate?
Song: Murmaider
Artist: Dethklok
Comment: Yes, I ate the flesh of murdered mermaids in the dark depths of the Mariana Treeeeench. How kvlt.

Why is grass green?
Song: Boulevard of Broken Songs
Artist: Dean Gray
Comment: Because Green Day made it so.

Your phone is ringing, but who's on the other end?
Song: Apocalyptic Havoc
Artist: Goatwhore
Comment: SDKLFJSLKFJSDFJSLK LOLLLLLLL

What should you stop doing?
Song: She Blinded Me With Science
Artist: Thomas Dolby
Comment: ... kdgkfjgfkjgkfjg

A word of advice to the readers of this quiz?
Song: Over and Out
Artist: Foo Fighters
Comment: Sure, LOL

And now back to work/homework.

Damn.

2009-09-19T12:25:34Z

This post is pretty useless but I wanted to make a note of this to myself: goddamn I love Alice in Chains and one of these days I want to hug Jerry fucking Cantrell.

Goddamn great album. I love this song.

ZZTop!

2009-09-14T04:42:36Z

I'm kind of exhausted-- okay not kind of, REALLY exhausted, so I want to say that the show was absolutely amazing. There was no crush since most of the people there were 40s and over. I had a lot of fun. I went with Al and Al's dad. Al's mom stayed in the hotel-- his parents flew down from Boston after his mom and dad's ballroom dancing competition!! They had barely NO sleep in them! Man, tough cookies. Keith took Al's mom's ticket so it was all good. I loved being with Al's dad, what a cool guy, and it was great seeing Al again at the show.

My next show is going to be so awesome. I can't wait. What is that, you ask? Why, it's me, Al, John (god_damn_me and Kady randomvacancy heading to Tampa, Florida on October 3rd to see Gojira, Lamb of God, and some ol' band named Metallica. :D I can't fucking wait, how awesome is that going to be? All the Metclubbers, the show, the meet-up, the fun times ahead. It's going to be such tits.

But before that I have to work my ass off like I've been doing for my classes. I have two tests coming up for my microeconomics class and my astronomy class. I'm going to definitely work my butt off so I can do really well on them. Reading for the two classes every day really helps out. I also have to start applying to my grad schools, eep! Now that I know what my list is, I have to solidify on what to do for each of them as well as continue studying for my GREs for Boston University. My friend Matt wants to help me study for them since he's taking them as well, so I have to set up times with him soon.

Now that I've done this update it's time to go and take a shower, eat some easy Mac, hit the hay and wake up for some good breakfast in the morning, read some Microeconomics and go to class.

Re: the social contract of LJ, A Rebuttal by Trinny.

2009-09-13T06:21:18Z

After a long day of working on Saturday, I get woken up at 1AM and find that my good friend of ten years, ravensgurl211, gets attacked on someone else's journal, evilgmbethy's-- someone I used to have on my own flist until I decided to randomly let her go in the beginning of this year. It wasn't anything personal; those who know me very well understand I go through periods of distrust and get rid of the people I don't feel comfortable around and don't feel that we have anything in common. Essentially I understand I should just use the friends list filter here on LJ, but eh, it's all good. This journal is 99% public anyway which I have done so I can get over my feelings of distrust (hurrah growing up with mutism).

But this post isn't about me. It's about what happened between Sarah and Bethy while I was away doing homework and work. Understand that I'm just riffing it here without thought (as a rant should be amirite) so bear with grammar and spelling errors folks.

If you don't know who totally_fierce is, I'll give you a short scoop. Her name is Nikkie. I was friends with her back-in-the-day until I realized there was nothing really connecting between the two of us. I didn't feel comfortable so I let her go as a friend here on my flist. Simple, right? Well she never unfriended me. Ever. And I believe I unfriended her sometime around, like, 2006, 2007? Yeah. So I just let it go, whatever, it'll eventually happen. The journal went public anyway in 09 so fuck it, right?

Sometime ago I found out in wrestling fandom, Nikkie does not have a great reputation. Needless to say, it's pretty shitty. She's known quite simply as a crazy fanatical woman. She was known back then as Nikki and she frequent boards such as the now defunct Lady Jackyll and other places. She used to talk to herself in chatrooms and she also used to sockpuppet as two different people here on LJ. She also used to rage at people for no real reason– and if there was a reason, it was so little that it boggled people's minds and wonder what the hell was up with her. She raged on and on, making a ruckus out of things, foamed at the mouth whenever someone speaks against her. She attacked the kayfabe like it was real, blamed everything wrong on McMahon and absolutely went crazy to the point of fear-inducing-to-others hysteria about her favorite wrestlers.

Now common sense tells us (as well as the movie Bambi) one essential rule: "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." What the saying is missing is the quiet little clause that's tacked at the end saying, "Except for people who obviously bring on the wank because it's totally needed for the lulz." Thumper had no idea the powers of the internet. Anonymity is fun.

For something like this though, there was no anonymity. Sarah has been accused (rightly so) by Bethy for basically copy-pasting a locked entry of Nikkie's onto a f-locked comm (kirtanglefans, your #1 source of mockery and all things wrestling). As quoted from Bethy's public journal, "Lord knows I am no saint, but there is a line. Everyone expects that what goes behind a friends' cut is safe in their friends' hands." So right there and then, that's crossing a line. No one should do that. That's just plain old wrong.

What is this post Bethy speaks of? The post Sarah is being accused of dealt with Nikkie having a Twitter and wanting to send Chavo, a wrestler, a twit saying that Tylene, a wrestler that Nikkie likes, also has a twitter. Basically it was mocking Nikkie for going crazy for being twittered by Tylene. All it said at the end of this copy-pasting was one line of mockery: Does anyone else find it odd that she even has friends? So two posts copy-pasted, one line said and someone gets mad about this.

Understandably so! I do understand where Bethy is coming from. There is a line. You do not copy-paste what is behind a person's friends cut into another place where people can read and then mock. I get that and so I say to you Bethy: you are right in your anger. That's totally cool that you are angry and outraged at what Sarah did. It got under your collar and heated you right up and it makes perfect sense, because if I was on that side of the fence, I would be angry too!

Unfortunately, I cannot side with you on this matter Bethy. I am not on your side of the fence, I am on the other side. I am with Sarah, but of course that's understandable, since I've been Sarah's friend for ten years and she's been in my corner so many times that it's obvious I'm going to stick up for her and her actions as well as justification for them as well.

There is justification behind this. This will probably piss Bethy off further since this probably went under her radar, but y'know, it's good to get this out. I'm not really sure anyone who has ever been in the KAF knows this, but I'll give ya'll a little scoop about the comm I used to mod.

In the comm kirtanglefans, a community I used to mod until I voluntarily stepped down (I stopped watching wrestling after the death of Chris Benoit), we mock everything and everyone. The community was birth out of a joke that happened one crazy night in June some three years ago I believe. There's been some wank (in a wank comm, the irony is not lost on me), there's been some craziness, but generally, it's a cool comm and I'm glad I was apart of it.

What I think is being failed to come to light is that in this community, Nikkie here was blatantly made fun of, even when Nikkie was still in the comm herself. No one could barely stand to be around her. She always flew off the handle, attacked people who didn't agree with her, called people very dirty and wrong names that further added fuel to the fire, and posted self-gratuitous posts about her current fixation, Mike Knox, much to the chagrin of everyone in the community. For the most part, she was ignored, but the jabs against Nikkie were done against her, even to her face, and mostly, she ignored them as well. To this day, I don't know if she did that on purpose or if she was that oblivious to them. I do sincerely think on the latter, because if she hasn't defriended me by now, I think she never will.

Now here's my side of the fence on this whole thing. In the terms of the internet lulz, there is absolutely nothing wrong with what Sarah has done. It's been done over and over in the KAF. To others who aren't on Nikkie's side, it's quite hilarious. But for those who are not on the "lulz" side, then no, it is not hilarious. It's wrong and not right and Sarah shouldn't have done that.

I personally don't see the harm in what Sarah has done. The act wasn't right, which I agree with Bethy on whole heartedly. I agree that you should not copy-paste what is friends only in someone's journal and mock them. However, I disagree in the severity. I believe Bethy means that you don't do that for anyone's f-locked journal whatsoever, no matter the content. And yet she said that Bethy herself is no saint. Someone else in the comments said that she was no saint. In a journal, talking about what someone else said in their f'locked journal in a filtered post or a f'locked journal of yourself, of course that's happened. No one is a saint when it comes to this journal wankery.

I do believe in the safety of our little instant messengers, we can say what we want to the person on the other side without fear of persecution because who in their right mind is going to check instant messengers anyway. Mockery should go under the carpet, and the only time it's acceptable is if it's posted publicly and everyone is making fun of it. Safety in numbers and whatnot. Either safety in numbers or safety within the confines of something private.

While I do believe that Sarah would've been better off posting it in her journal -- as in that way she could claim the whole 'it IS my journal and I can post and say what I want in it' right to privacy thing there -- I don't think what Sarah has done is in any way shape or form detrimental to Nikkie in the slightest. Sarah didn't go and copy-paste something that was actually needing to be f'locked. Sarah didn't go and make fun of a dead loved one of Nikkie's, or make fun of anytime Nikkie was sick, or make fun of Nikkie's relationship situation. (So you know these are hypothetical situations-- I haven't read Nikkie's journal since 2006.) Sarah didn't do any of that. It was basically poking fun of her obsession on Twitter with wrestlers. This could be done to me about how I could possibly have any friends with all the fucking Metallica that I have in my life, right? Would any of you be mad about that? Would you be mad if I got mad? Or would you laugh because I laughed?

Really something like that is not worth getting all angry over. It's not worth it. The act? Oh yes, I would get angry about that. Again, I'm with Bethy. But the content? That is circumstantial. If Sarah had gone and blatantly mocked a medical condition Nikkie had, I would personally see to it that I would go up to Newark and slap the shit out of her Mexican-style wondering what the fuck was up. But that's not going to happen because the content wasn't severe in my eyes and you can agree or disagree with me on that. The act, I understand, but the content, no. I can also understand the anger of a friend protecting a friend which is what Bethy is doing in Nikkie's case. It's not cool that Nikkie got made fun of in Bethy's eyes. Totally understandable as I am doing the same with me and Sarah's case. It's not cool that Sarah basically got called out and labeled untrustworthy and to further boot that if anyone was friends with Sarah to unfriend Bethy ASAP all because of this thing that has happened tonight. That made me angry. Very angry.

As Bethy said in her post, "Snarking is part and parcel of the LJ experience -- but the social contract has guidelines." This I agree with. "Snarking on something someone said in a community -- is a-ok." Right, this usually happens. "Snarking on someone's personal LJ -- meh." This I do not agree with because in my eyes, a person's LJ is their LJ whether public or private and they should have to freedom to say what they want without fear of persecution, but I digress. That is a matter for another time. "Snarking and COPYING friends locked material -- beyond the pale." I agree hands down, but this is all about the said material again. Not so severe in my eyes, severe in Bethy's.

When it comes the internet lulz, we are all guilty. When Bethy said "Lord knows I am no saint," she's right. None of us are. Private in an IM conversation, in a LJ community, publicly, mockery happens. It's the internet. If you can get away with it anonymously, you can show off the world you have the biggest dick of them all and giggle behind your computer screen and go about your daily lives as if nothing is wrong. (This happened with Kayla's friend Casey (isn't it nice when people make fun of a dying 19 year old cancer girl whose leg will be amputated and bowel functions probably lost on a forum? would you say that's crossing the line or would that be circumstantial because of the evidence? oh she posted it public, she's getting lambasted, right?) but again that's another issue.) If it is so stupid that you just have to mock it, it gets mocked. But whoever you mock ends up getting hurt and people on that side of the fence will get angry.

I would like to point out again that Nikkie's past isn't so sterling either, as stated above. She has hurt others in terms of privacy in the past as I'm sure we have all done as well. Was that ethical? Was that right? Or did no one get into a fuss about it because the people whom she did this to simply defriended her and that was the end of it? How come their stories went under the carpet and this one didn't? Sometimes it's best to go the nonplussed route and simply let it go. And sometimes it isn't enough. You gotta let it all out and get it into the open instead of letting it rot and fester within, which is what I did.

In the end this is all water under the bridge anyway. Bethy has her stance, I have mine. She's siding with Nikkie, I'm siding with Sarah. I agree and disagree with Bethy and wish all the best to Nikkie. I would like to say that if you are reading this Nikkie, will you please defriend me now after three years? Thanks. I'm sure you have better friends now than me anyway.

i should tag 'kilmister' to the whole 'flynn-ulrich' thing i have going on.

2009-09-09T05:08:51Z

at the show.

post-show.

look, sweat.

did i mention i went to this show with one hour of sleep in me after working five and a half hours at the internship? and that i had barely no food in me?

write up tomorrow. work at twelve noon. i am so happily fucked.

long live motorhead.

Meme.

2009-09-05T17:52:10Z

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your ipod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is what makes it fun!

1. Imperium - Machine Head
2. Dream of Mirrors - Iron Maiden
3. We Are The Champions - Queen
4. Slow Jamz - Kanye West
5. I Crudeli - Ennio Morricone
6. Die Die My Darling - Metallica
7. Austin Powers Saying "Yeah Baby" - David Cross
8. Pilgrimage - Nine Inch Nails
9. The Dropsonde - Caspian
10. Three Doors - VAST
11. Tearing A Hole in the Paper Sky - Kerry Muzzey
12. Cuzco - E.S Posthumus
13. 1921 - The Who
14. The Walkin' Blues - Royal Crown Revue
15. Alexithymia - Anberlin
16. The Boys Are Back In Town - Thin Lizzy
17. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
18. Il Salto Dell'Angelo - Roberto Cacciapaglia
19. Cum On Feel The Noize - Quiet Riot
20. Bandoneon Arrabalero - Osvaldo Pugliese
21. Silent Sea - KT Tunstall
22. Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin
23. Purify - Neurosis
24. End Over End - Foo Fighters
25. Something Else Or.. - Volbeat

This week was not a good one. Two of my friends are dead, food poisoning, ankle sprain (it's almost healed by now), lots of hours at work (I'm still grateful for them), lots of homework (grateful too), and then finding out something that really set me off pretty much.

Today I was going to go to Arlington but instead I'm going to do my homework and clean my room. I think I will clean the outside too, the living room and kitchen. It would be nice if people could show up later today so we could play Guitar Hero: Metallica, but I don't have anyone here who would indulge in that pretty much. It's all good though. This is a part of my therapy.

Speaking of therapy I REALLY need to fix my guitar. It's driving me insane wanting to learn this Machine Head song and I can't because I have no strings. That's no worries though, I'll get some from Al when he comes back from Labor Day weekend I think. Or at least find a place where I can get some. Maybe they can fix my loose jack in the guitar body.

Anyway, hope you are all fine. I'm dealing. Living. I'm grateful to be alive. I'll go to Arlington tomorrow to clear my mind and I'll be okay.

jason.

2009-09-03T16:58:36Z

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

It's not right. It's not fair.
Those are the words that always come to mind when someone dies, especially someone young. To die young means you never reached your full potential.
He had a future.
She could've become something.
It's not right. It's not fair.
Curiously I've found that when it was someone my age, I think, "Man that's crazy, we were the same... that could've been me."
Sometimes I think, "Wow that sucks, poor guy."
When someone dies who is younger than me, even by a year, I think, "That's not fair. That's not right. She had a chance. He should've lived."
Not right. Not fair.
I never knew Jason. I never met him in person. But Jason meant something to me. So gracious, cordial, funny, charismatic with his words.
Even online your true self comes through.
And god, such a talent. Such a fucking talent. So creative. He inspired me a lot. The way he manipulated a camera and created images really astounded me. He made me think. He made me stop and read and analyze. He captured moments that I couldn't even fathom of taking. He always let the images speak. Never his words.
When he did let the words flow in his creative writings, they were astounding.
I had no idea where the ideas came from. If they reflected who he was inside, or if it was seriously spur of the moment. I don't know because I didn't really know him.
He composed music. He was a drummer. He loved Tool. I loved the pieces he shared with me. They were distinctly him.
But that was Jason. That was who he is. He was prolific and ambitious. It drew me to him instantly. And now he's dead. And all I can think of, all I thought of when I first heard it, what I Twittered, what I said on Facebook, what I am saying now, it's all the same. Exactly what everyone says when something this tragic happens.
It's not right. It's not fair.

We had talked a few times about California.
He loved my state. He fell in love with the Bay Area. San Francisco, he called it his next new home.
I gave him so much advice about my home, my area. I told him about this place, that place, this beach, that beach, what school had the better program, what school to check out. I wanted to guide him, help him, send him to the best school in my state which would be nice to out of towners on the financial situation as well as help him grow with his amazing creative ability.
I thought San Francisco would be perfect for him. I told him to avoid Berkeley. San Francisco State would be a shoe-in for him. Great grades, that ability? He's in. I also suggested UC Riverside, a damn good creative writing program, and Los Angeles is not that far away.
He was so excited. He was thrilled to talk to me. I was just as thrilled to talk to him. To meet someone this young and have a conversation about music and creativity, someone as ambitious and driven and full of life as me, it was euphoric.
He would've thrived in San Francisco. It would've become his second home.
We could've ended up being the best of friends.

Jason was seventeen years old.
He died in an automobile accident.
They were on the way to get another concert ticket for a friend.
Then, the driver lost control.
The car rolled over onto another route.
He died. Another friend of his died too.
She was sixteen.
The other three friends survived.
It's a typical story of oh-so-sorry-it-happened, too-bad-so-young.
Typical, yeah.
It happens, right?
Shit happens.
Yeah.

Robb sings into my ears with his soothing voice:
Sitting in the empty black
The last slivers of dusk have passed
Accept the dawn to ease the fear
One day I will not be here
And I cry, trying to block out my roommates talking happily outside my door.
I listen to this song and I remember Jason.
I lay in bed and pray for Jason.
I write this because of Jason.

It's really true, y'know, that phrase: get busy living or get busy dying.
All the other phrases too I've heard in my life: fuck it all and fucking no regrets, don't take no for an answer, live your life to the fullest.
They all apply. They're so true.
One day I will not be here.
So get busy living or get busy dying. Fuck it all and fucking no regrets. Never take no for an answer. Live your life to the fullest. And lighten up. Because one day, you will not be here.
I'll remember that Jason. I'll remember you.
Take care my friend.

A bit of an update.

2009-09-01T20:31:22Z

My dorm room is okay. I am living. I am also working. I worked 12 hours yesterday, happily I might add. But going to sleep at 4 or 5AM and then having to wake up at 10AM late for my internship was not so great. But I got there in time, my boss Claire was really really sweet, and that was cool. I did a lot of work and I'm super exhausted but I am doing my homework for my production class at 5 this evening... and gmail just happens to fuck up when I have some of my completed homework on there.

So I'm just doing a quick update right now, nothing more, nothing less. I'm gonna finish BSing this, hopefully take a 10 minute nap then head off to class and grab dinner on the way. I haven't eaten anything all day, just a bottle of water. I have work tomorrow too and work again on Thursday. Friday what I'm going to do is after my three hour sound class head on over to Arlington for some RNR. The only thing is that I hurt my ankle, sprained it, at the Virgin Mobile Festival where I worked on Sunday, so I don't know if that's a smart decision or not. *shrug* But I need a break man, otherwise I'll just snap, lol. Bye for now.

An announcement to my flist.

2009-08-25T20:33:06Z

My friend ketene has two friends of hers from LJ, Mandy (mordere) and Casey (weaselsdontfly). Mandy is the older sister of Casey. Casey is nineteen years old and has a very severe form of cancer. She's going to have to get her leg amputated because of the tumor that is there. There are complications that have arisen and it really makes me sick to my stomach that someone this young has to go through this kind of fucked-up bullshit.

She's entered into this contest for Victoria Secret, answering the question "Why do you love your body?" The winner gets a spa trip to NYC. And for those who don't know Kayla, she lives in NYC, so she would give Casey and Mandy the full Manhattan tour. Out of all the entries, she deserves to go the most. Not to mention, Casey's answer is completely badass, and I love the photos taken of her too.

Go ahead and vote here: http://www.bodybyvictoria.com/#/Gallery/880 The voting ends I believe September 14th. You can vote once a day. Feel free to spread the word about this.

YES.

2009-08-24T17:45:44Z

Hi, I'm the latest intern for DC101. I got the internship.

Now? I need the work study job, and I need a part-time job.

No word on query letters for CIT, so I guess I should keep applying...

Classes are good so far. Microeconomics is actually... fun! LOL. Surprisingly! Astronomy is next. I'm excited for that class. Then later on this evening I have Directing for Camera. I'm super excited about everything.

My room is all clean, and my flatmates are wicked awesome. I also met up with professors today and asked them for recommendations in the future, which they all agreed to do. I also met up with some old friends too.

All in all? Life is good. :)

Music Meme from H.

2009-08-18T17:53:09Z

If you are a listener, post your top ten Last.fm artists and answer the questions. (If you're not on Last.fm, just pick your top ten manually.)

1. Metallica
2. Foo Fighters
3. Apocalyptica
4. Megadeth
5. Led Zeppelin
6. Pink Floyd
7. Queen
8. Black Sabbath
9. Deep Purple
10. Machine Head

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
Oh man, good question. I think it was either Time or Money.

What is your favorite album of 8?
Hmm. It always fluxes. Currently I'm really digging Sabotage.

What is your favorite lyrics of 5?
"Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be" (Ten Years Gone)

How many times have seen each of your ten bands live?
1. Metallica - 12
2. Foo Fighters - 0
3. Apocalyptica - 3
4. Megadeth - 3
5. Led Zeppelin - 0
6. Pink Floyd - 0
7. Queen - 0
8. Black Sabbath - 0
9. Deep Purple - 0
10. Machine Head - 6

What is your favorite song by number 7?
It always changes. Right now: One Year of Love.

Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?
Probably "Farewell."

What is your favorite song by 2?
Again, always changes. Currently it's "Aurora."

What is your favorite song by 9?
"Child in Time."

What is your favorite album by 1?
Either "Master of Puppets" or "Death Magnetic."

How did you get into 3?
Back when I just got into Metallica in '00, I found their album "Metallica Played On Four Cellos." I was hooked.

What is your favorite song by 4?
"In My Darkest Hour."

Which of the 10 has influenced you the most?
Oh God, where do I begin with Machine Head? LOL. I just fucking love them. I don't know where to start. I think they have probably influenced me the most in my writing.

What is a good memory concerning 2?
Me and Al talking all night in the common room while Foo Fighters were playing. He's the reason why I got into them so hard.

What is a good memory concerning 3?
Talking to the guys before, during, AND after the gig.

Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad?
Hmm. Can't say sad. But a moving piece is "Falling Off The Edge of the World"

What is your favorite song of 1?
Right now it's "Harvester of Sorrow." But I think "my song" is "One."

How did you become a fan of 10?
I heard Davidian back in '97 but it didn't really hit me how awesome they were until around in '07 when I heard The Blackening for the first time. I caught up on them, listened to everything, loved them, saw them live, REALLY fell for them (Flynn I love you), and now I'm insanely in love with them.

---

I'm all packed, ready to go back to DC. I think I have a solid list of grad schools to apply to, but just in case I don't get in, I'm going to apply to a bunch of jobs so I have something waiting for me post-college. That'd be the ideal situation. I have two job interviews when I get back to DC. One on the 19th when I arrive, and another on the 20th. I need to get a part time job, ugh. I'll be back in California around November for Thanksgiving, then again in the fall for the San Jose hometown show.

Update on the CIT querying: 5 rejections, 1 interested person (hasn't gotten back to me yet), and 13 are still in the pool. I submitted myself to five more last night, and one of them got back to me in like 5 minutes lol. Gonna keep trying.

Querying CIT: Day One

2009-08-15T06:45:40Z

Number of Submissions: 15
Number of Rejections: 1
Number of Waiting For Responses: 14

Well, here we go. LOL. The rejection response was nice at least. Time to keep querying, day in and day out.

I'm going to make a short film for this scholarship contest. I hope I get it. 500 bucks goes a long way. That and it's a film! 30 second commercial using licensed Ulrich Schnauss music. How fucking tits is that? I hope I get it. I'll do the treatment and then when I get back to DC, I'll film it there.

Still applying for jobs. Wish me luck guys. Something HAS to happen, for fuck's sake.

-_______________________- and other such things.

2009-08-13T19:38:03Z

Senior year is coming up. I'm worried like hell. The paid internship got back with me and said something weird. The girl who was in the position before me is going to stay on for awhile, until the security clearance at her new permanent job is taken care of. So I don't know if I got it or not. They said they would call me when they need a fall employee.

I have an interview for the on campus job on either the 19th or the 20th. I have an interview for the unpaid internship on the 20th for sure for a radio station job. Needless to say, I feel like shit. I need a steady income per week. The on campus work study job, when I get it (I can't say if, I need the money), will only be 8 hours a week. If I get the unpaid internship I'll do 6 hours a week. So I need a steady income from something else, so I can do at max 28 hours a week. It's probably not going to happen like that off the bat if I get a retail job, but I need something, anything. So I'm applying to every place I can think of that is Metro accessible. I'll commute at this point, I really don't care. I just need a damn job. This is ridiculous.

I sold some stuff in a garage sale when mom wasn't home. The bean bag got sold for 300, which is being given to my mom so she can pay our health insurance. Maybe I can sell more things, I have no idea. But at least something good came out of that. Mom wasn't happy about it, but I gave her 300 in cash, so she shut up pretty quick.

My school fucked up my financial aid. I'm down by 7K for the full year fall/spring. They disbursed my big ass loan the wrong way. I owe for my summer class still. So now they have to find a way to fix it. Otherwise, I'm still owing for both semesters. I don't know if I can get another loan by myself again. They're closed right now, so tomorrow morning, I'm calling Financial Aid and Sallie Mae at 5 in the morning PST and getting this crap taken care of. I'm not a happy camper with them.

On top of all of this, I really don't know what I'm doing for graduate school. I've been studying all summer for the GRE, right? It turns out I might apply for business school instead, so that means I'd have to study the GMAT-- which apparently is harder than the GRE. Again, not a fucking happy camper. I'm just... I feel so confused and misguided. I've been doing this all by myself for the past three years of college, slacking off here and there, thinking this and that, and now I really really want an actual career. I can do filmmaking, writing, screenwriting, photography and all of my creative stuff on the side. There's no reason why I should give those up at all. But I need a steady job to pay off my loans. I need a specialization. Something, anything. And I feel so lost because for the first time in my life, I really seriously 100% have NO FUCKING CLUE what to do. I have these skills, all these skills, and aptitudes, and natural abilities and shit, and I don't know what to do with myself.

So I'm spending today, all of today, to do two things: one, market Child in Time. The manuscript is completely done, the query letter is finished, and I'm going to query more agencies today. It never hurts to try your best and apply and see what happens, y'know? And two, find out what the hell I can do with my damn film degree. Marketing seems the best route to go, and I regret not making my minor a marketing minor, but going the easy route out, and taking a film studies minor instead. But that's coulda-woulda-shoulda. I've got some electives to take my last year in the spring, since I'm filling up my fall with all of my major crap. I'll do my last two minor classes in the spring, and figure out what applicable and helpful electives to take. Nothing for fun, stuff that will help me in the long run. If that means they are hard classes, so be it. I'll work my hardest with them and gain whatever knowledge I can.

I guess the one thing that would really alleviate some problems is if I got my work study job, my internship, and a part time job during the week. That would really be a blessing man. Having Child in Time published would be a miracle too, but I gotta think realistically, and getting the jobs I've been working my ass off for would be absolutely fantastic. Anyway, to work, enough ranting.

rofl I should do this more often.

2009-07-24T18:22:05Z

So I set up my interviews over the phone. That was simple! I explained my situation and they were all OH OKAY, so all my interviews are set up on Monday over the phone. I got a call back from a music company in DC. It's unpaid, but they'll give me credit this fall. I'm not sure if I want to do it for credit just yet you know? When I last checked, my school won't let me take two internships twice my senior year for credit, just once. Apparently there are now two levels of internships a senior can take? Regular internship, and then senior professional? Hmm! I emailed my adviser asking what's up about that. Does that mean I can take two in the year? If so, awesome! That means I'll have to give up the advanced screenwriting class, but so be it man, internships for credit? Fuck yeah, that's what I want.

The writing bug is still dead. CIT is SO CLOSE to being revised completely and utterly, and yet I just keep staring at Part 8. Anything else I want to write... I'm just staring at it. It's horrible. -_- With the lack of writing, I'm doing some graphics instead. Manipulations I haven't finished or started. That's something, yeah? Sigh. I just need to stop thinking. That way, the writing will come back.

Alright, time to go and send out more applications. LOL I feel like I should stop sending out apps, but still, I shouldn't. Who knows if I get this internship or not on Monday? Granted it would be KICK ASS if I did, the lady sounds great, the internship is not far from school, the opportunity is grand, and the job itself sounds fantastic and up my alley. Sure it's not the field I want, but that's okay. It's a JOB in something I like and it's a STIPEND pay per MONTH. That's what matters.

Still, I need to call up my school about the work study jobs. EEP. Going to go do that. The photo lab lady hasn't emailed me, so I'm going to call her. Calling works more than emails sometimes. Also, the movie Moon was fantastic. EVERYONE MUST GO SEE IT. Clint Mansell did a great soundtrack.

ffffffffffffffffff my life.

2009-07-23T23:23:38Z

I have two job interviews... in Washington DC. LOL fuck my life.

But not all is lost. I have a lot of miles accrued from American Airlines. Same on my mom. We're situating things on that front. It won't be a problem. The problem is trying to find a place to stay if I happen to get these jobs. I have been applying to a lot of jobs in DC, unpaid and paid internships, all in my field and what I am interested in doing. One job interview is paid, the other isn't, but right now, it doesn't matter. I will have my work study job, which since I'm going out to DC, I'll go ahead and interview on campus for a job anyway. It'll work out better.

What I would LIKE to do is stay in DC the rest of the time, but I don't know where to go! I'm calling up friends here and there, wondering if I can stay until August 16th when school starts up again, and not come back to California. That way we don't have to spend so much money flying back and forth... even though we have the miles, you know, it still costs money to fly. Ten bucks is ten bucks... but it's ten bucks across the country, which is better than like, 300 a pop. But still! The jew in me is coming out, big time, ROFL.

Anyone got any advice? I'm going to the interviews on Monday, for sure. I'm just worried if I get more interviews next week, I won't be there, because I'll have to go back to California! FFFF. You get what I mean? UGH.

At least good things have finally come on the horizon. :) I'm just going to keep applying, applying, applying. Apparently I'm good at this design shit LOL. Teehee.

cobrasnaps @ 2009-07-17T02:52:00

2009-07-17T09:56:38Z

Oh, and here's another tidbit. Before the insurance runs out for mom and me from her old job, I've set up an appointment with the dermatologist and a therapist. I've never been to a therapist before for a million and one reasons, but I figure, why the hell not? I obviously have a problem with bottling things up, and if I can't trust this place to do it, or my own friends, then I might as well get my insurance's worth and let it out in a small confined place. I'm actually scared to death, but fuck it, I might as well face my fears.

cobrasnaps @ 2009-07-17T01:51:00

2009-07-17T09:02:19Z

Fine.

Since no one believes me, I'll say it here: I've been applying to every job imaginable. Kayla, I fucking haven't been picky like I was last year and the year before, but since you won't believe me, fucking fine. I haven't talked to you because I'm tired of you lecturing me. Every time I talk to you it's like you're lecturing me instead of encouraging me. I'm sick of it. There, I said it, take it or leave it.

I have called places. I have walked to places. I've walked ten miles to get to a damn job only for them to say there's no available positions because no one doesn't believe me when I say there is no close bus stop to where I live. I have applied everywhere online, gone in store, and done everything, and for what? To keep getting rejected, time and time again. And now my mom is in the same boat, but at least she's getting phone calls way more than me because she's got more experience than me.

I keep fucking trying, and I'm in a goddamn hole. I don't need people to tell me, what are you, two, what are you, not trying, being online watching shit and writing fics? Really. This is why I don't want to talk anymore, because of shit like this. I don't do it all the goddamn time. I write stuff that's original, I do things to improve myself, but I don't talk about it. So apparently, if I don't talk about it, I'm not doing it, right? Right.

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, but it's not like I'm doing this day in and day out. I've been indulging in that for small days, like one whole day, then go out and try again and again and again. And you know what, at least I'm fucking trying. At least I'm trying to do something. At least I try every day to fill out one damn application to one place. You can't really do goddamn much in South San Jose. All the jobs are in the Peninsula and San Francisco. And Bart costs money that I already don't have. I raid craigslist every day sending out my application with a good cover letter, and for WHAT?

All I wanted to do was just use this LJ to rant, to just let my emotions go, but instead I get attacked for being a lazy ass bitch who isn't interesting and... all that other shit.

Fuck you all. Fuck you fucking all. I can do this. I can really do it. I just have no damn inspiration or will because I keep getting rejected and shit. I haven't slept right, ate right, or anything, because I keep bottling shit up.

There, I said my peace. I'm tired of being the little girl who deletes entries or comments. That's how I fucking feel, these are my thoughts, blah blah blah. None of you know what I do because I don't say it-- that's what it makes me angry. You don't know, because I don't say. I know right now I'm letting you all get to me, but I'm a human being, and when people you like say shit like that to you, it gets to you. I'm incredibly alone here and all I want is a damn hug, but I won't get it. I also hate that I sound like a whiny bitch, but fuck it, I've been keeping this in for months and I nearly committed suicide because of this. I'm tired of bottling this in.

I'm going to finish my homework and study for the GRE. I'm done. I just... I'm so full of hate and anger and I hate that I am letting my feelings go, but fuck it. I don't care anymore. Say all the bad things you want about me. Go for it.

An observation, some thank yous, and other things.

2009-07-16T20:26:39Z

I've realized lately that I am so incredibly lonely while being online. I just stare at my computer sometimes not IMing anyone when I have a full buddy list on all messengers. Usually I talk to people or IM them, but lately, I haven't. I go into a dA chatroom, and I don't talk as much as I used to. I feel detached and alienated. I feel like... I don't really know. Unloved and unwanted. And I don't like it. I keep trying to change it, but I'm finding it difficult. I never felt like I was alone ever when I'm online, but now I do. I find that sad.

Thank yous go out to Sarah and Allie. Sarah sent me a huge box of food and other goodies through UPS. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so much. Allie sent me a cute sound-greeting card (Clint Eastwood, Good Bad and Ugly theme) and a 25 dollar iTunes giftcard. Thanks hon.

The jobless woes continue. I'm applying to jobs in Washington DC, Virginia and Maryland now. If I can't get a job this summer, I'll get one in the fall. I'm also trying to find a work study job, a new one. I'm tired of my old one. I hate my boss and I hate where I worked. I think I'll do a library workstudy job. Or maybe the SubHub.

I haven't had much desire to write, which sucks. The query letter, a new novel, the rewrite of CIT, and a few fics and short stories are just sitting on my desktop, untouched. I also am losing faith with studying for the GRE. I keep trying to improve my verbal score, but I keep fucking up. I'm horrible at this shit. Math I'm doing better in as I keep trying and learning. I find it hilarious that I'm fucking up in verbal, while I'm scoring okay in math, when for the SAT, I was completely the opposite. At least my writing skills are okay.

So instead of doing all of that, I've been watching a lot of old cartoon shows. For the past couple hours, like eight to nine hours, I've been watching Dragonball Z episodes on Youtube. I skipped through episodes to watch the ones I liked. Earlier in the week I did that with Sailor Moon, and then a week ago with all of Batman: The Animated Series, and Justice League and Justice League Unlimited. I think I'm gonna watch some more old cartoons. Maybe Rocko is online, that'd be swell.

This also means I've been sleeping irregularly. I don't really sleep. It's just small bursts here and there. Consequently that means I've been getting migraines. Usually what I do is sleep all day, and be up all night writing and working and studying. But the past few weeks that's been fucked up. So I just take naps where I can.

Alright, I need to go watch something now, because while I've been typing this, I've had Vegeta in my head narrating the whole time. It's kind of hilarious, because sometimes my voice tries to come in, and then Vegeta's comes right after, rofl. I know, I'm sick in the mind, but it's me, and everyone thinks I'm crazy.

HOLY SHIT METALLICA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

2009-07-08T21:03:04Z

While we are still enjoying our European summer vacation, a quick note here about the Fall shows in North America. Our French friends Gojira will be joining us, along with Lamb of God, for shows September 14 – October 18, while Lars' brethren from Denmark Volbeat will hanging for the shows October 26 – December 12. One other quick thing – unfortunately Lamb of God cannot continue on with us in December, so we'll have more news about those shows for you later.

...

Tampa, Charolettesville, Gojira, LOG.

MSG 1, MSG 2, Volbeat, LOG.

Vegas, Anaheim, SJ, Volbeat, some other band.

...

If they get Alice in Chains or Faith No More or Mastodon for the last band, I won't be able to breathe. I will be dead.

Good job stepping up there on the opening bands Metallica.

cobrasnaps @ 2009-07-08T10:39:00

2009-07-08T17:40:31Z

I've had enough.

Writing the query letter for Child in Time today. Wish me luck.

Currently trying to figure out what genre(s) this damn thing is, lol.

cobrasnaps @ 2009-07-06T14:06:00

2009-07-06T21:09:56Z

There's little things in life you have to look at and treasure, otherwise things will just consume you and then you'll go insane. For example, I've been watching a lot of Batman. It makes me smile and think of my childhood. I also have been doing great with my online nutrition class. I also received financial aid and my scholarship for the last year. I also lost some weight. Most importantly, someone I know read my still-being-revised novel, and said it deeply impacted them like nothing else. I'm sitting on a great story that needs to be published, and so help me, it will be.

Again, little things in life. Those are the things to look at when all the big things have crumbled, and there seems to be nothing left but utterly destruction and misery.

Time to go revise the rest of Child in Time.